Count Contessa – “Reign In Ratchet” (Produced by Proper Villians)

Brace yourselves. Proper Villians has teamed up with female rapper Contessa Stuto aka Count Contessa aka CUNTMAFIA as she is known to her close friends. DAD received the formal introduction from Proper Villians when this promo was sent out for fear the e-mail would be flagged and never reach the many mailboxes to which it was sent. If they hadn’t already been familiar with her balls to the wall style (trust, if any female has balls, it is this Count Contessa), there is no way they weren’t the tiniest bit curious as “Reign In Ratchet” popped in their inboxes.

We certainly were. This track is labeled as trap metal. What the fuck is “trap metal,” you might ask? I am not a big proponent of genre classifications, but this one is pretty amusing. Sort of like when Aerosmith and Run DMC teamed up on “Walk This Way,” complete with the drag queen look of Steven Tyler and maybe you could substitute Rev Run for a female Fred Durst. That begins to paint the picture, but still no words can describe this clusterfuck of ratchetness.

The album art for the single speaks for itself, but once exposed to the video and audio of this track, it screams bloody murder directly into your face holes.  Pink automatic weapons, blue lipstick, and fishnet punked out slutty clothing are the first things we see from the Cunt Mafia (we’re now on familiar terms).

In Philadelphia, we have a venue called Soundgarden Hall. I am sure places like this exist in every city, but the city of brotherly love seems to pride itself on grime and ratchet. We were acting this way before it was even a thing, which apparently now it is. This video looks like it could have been shot on our streets, with some rave girls straight out of the halls of Soundgarden on a Twurkaholics night. For those unfamiliar, it is like the Jersey Shore meets Jerry Springer in this no holds bar display of some grotesquely gangster shit.

When we open the e-mail, it is a message that reads, “I think I killed trap,” in bright white letters. Proper Villians’ particular style of bass music has been known to shock and awe, leaving audiences dumbfounded by the mixes his makes. This track holds an array of noises that may sound like chaotic frenzy at first, but each bang, clash, slash, and shrill is methodically placed. The vocals are a huge part of this, and there is even some dubbing and distorting of those to add some extra electronic flavor to the mix. It is a blending of genres unthought of previously, and as nasty as it is, filled to the brim with tacky filth, there is something so honest and raw about this track that makes it dope as fuck.

It is dichotomous, evoking conflicting emotions and reactions from listeners. I think half the dudes at DAD still don’t know whether they love or hate it. It leaves you twisted, thinking maybe it is some kind of joke. I can assure you, the artists who made this were 100% serious, making it both terrifying and admirable. Seriously pushing the limits, “Reign In Ratchet” is not meant to be satirical. The most baffling piece of all of this is how any of this is serious, better yet believable. But it sort of is.

The song in and of itself is a wondrous thing, but for the full experience, you’ll need to check out the video. Again, brace yourselves. This is more ratchet than anything you saw at Mad Decent Block Party. This song pretty much defines the word, and wears it with pride. So go ahead, embrace your inner ratchet, or simply watch in dismay and shock. Whether out of fear or respect, everyone should bow their head before ratchet royalty. Either way, it was the most interesting thing to fall into my inbox all week. I couldn’t not share it with you.

  • Brandon Hamilton

    Trap is already pretty much dead. It’s gotten to the point where all the songs sound the same. I’m not saying trap is completely gone, I’m sure certain elements of trap will stick around for awhile (such as rolling snares and HH’s and bass heavy drops), but dont be surprised when “trap” artists start to not sound like themselves because the trap scene is dead. Adapt to survive and thats what artists are about to start doing as trap is on its way out. I’m excited to see what comes next