Horrible Molly-Related T-Shirts That We Don’t Want To See This Festival Season

  • molly-saved-my-life
  • fuck-bitches-get-molly
  • mary-molly-lucy
  • have-you-seen-mollly
  • popped-a-molly
  • molly-better-than-coke
  • molly-is-my-homegirl
  • alcohol-party-molly-sluts
  • have-you-seen-my-friend-molly
  • bitches-love-molly

Consider this your 2014 festival season PSA: leave those wack ass “molly” t-shirts at home. We’re heading into full-on festival season (not even for EDM, but just festival season in general), and we hope you guys take some consideration when getting ready to rage. Truthfully, you should feel silly for even copping a shirt that says “popped a molly, I’m sweating” or “bitches love molly” or some other weak usage of the term molly in anything you’re wearing. DAD won’t be a dad and tell you what to or not to do with your bodies (although we do err on the side of being safe and responsible in anything you’re doing), but do you realize how silly that looks?

It’d be one thing if the term “molly” wasn’t synonymous with “everything that’s wrong with the EDM scene.” We’re not in that era yet; molly’s that term that your parents use when asking you about what you’re doing at a rave. We imagine many a young adult has heard “you’re not out there doing that molly, are you?” from a concerned parent. Even if you say you aren’t, then go drop some molly, you look like an even bigger idiot having to hide the “fuck bitches, get molly” t-shirt when you’re running out of the house.

Do you know how most people can weed out the ravers they don’t want to talk to? By seeing how much neon is in their “molly is my homegirl” tee. Male or female, you look like the worst kind of follower out there. No diss on what you put into your body, but how you represent yourself? You might think that molly t-shirt is “trill,” but you end up being the wrong kind of walking billboard, especially when you look back at things like the deaths at Electric Zoo 2013. You want to be the posterboard for what society sees as wrong with the EDM scene, be our guest. But don’t expect us to cheer with you when you walk by rocking a wack t-shirt.